Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

“Ah~ So is this your house? It sure is worn-out~” After Lei Yi told us a few of her adventure stories, she pushed opened the wooden door of my small house when she was overcome with boredom and casually walked in without asking for my permission.

Hey! I have seen shameless people, but I have never seen someone like your that is shameless and extremely lecherous person!

Furthermore, let’s not talk about how you entered my house without any invitation from me, can you don’t say such hurtful words after you casually entered someone else house?

Don’t force me to grab a potato and fight you to my death ah.

“Woah… What a stench…” Di Yana has also followed Lei Yi’s footsteps, carefully lean forward and walked into my small house of 2 bedrooms and 1 living room.

You are the same! You two are the same, you have no rights to badmouth my house too when you have killed me a few times just before.

“Jie Jie…”  Wu De, who I do not know when did he appear, softly came into my room with his signature of disgusting laughter, his face full of scorn.

Wait a second, you can get lost.

I can tolerate anyone to enter my house, even the Demon King I’m also fine with it! But you…only you Wu De, no matter what I will never let you step foot in my house!!!

Before I could drag Wu De out and reaches my hand out to his shoulder, Di Yana, the brocon felt the danger and used [Glare] at me.

[Villager (Level 1) defense harshly fell]

[What will villager (Level 1) do now?]

[Villager (Level 1) used tolerate!]  (Reference to pokemon)

Damn… Damn it! I’ll let you off today! Go in…

Hence, the three of them are like oni entering a village, instantly filled up small house and looked around.

“Sigh…” I gave out a long sigh, never in my dream will I imagine that there would be guests visiting my house.

Although these [guests] are all uninvited/unwanted.

“Leave my house quickly after you have finished looking… after you leave, don’t ever come back. This is a paradise for me and potatoes, its not a playground for you all.”

I discontentedly tried to chase them away, but the three of them did not respond to it, seemingly they were like they didn’t hear a word I said.

Ah, no, at least Wu De gave a sarcastic sneer. “Jie Jie…”

This makes me even angrier…

Demon King! Hurry up and resurrect! Make these foolish human realise the cruelty of this world.

“Ah~ It’s been so long since I have lie down on a bed~” Lei Yi jumped onto my small wooden bed carrying a blissful smile. Apart from the action of covering herself in my blanket, she even smell it a little.

“Sniff, sniff… oh… is this the smell of Fo La~” Lei Yi peeked at me with her blushed face, but saw my unwillingly face. Hence, like she was avenging, she coldly continued: “What a uncle man smell~”  

Heh Heh Heh~!? This girl is joking huh?

Among the four of us, shouldn’t the one with the strongest uncle smell be you?

Apart from sullying Di Yana oppai, after you played me, you don’t even give me 100 potatoes as compensation?

You have exceeded chikan, don’t be an assassin anymore, go be an ASSassin. You have a bright future! (The author here combined the word chikan and assassin to make a joke but it does not translate well to english.)

Also! My name is called…


Nevermind… I don’t want to use this joke anymore.

“When will your leader arrive?” I painfull asked as I sat on the chair in my dining table, staring at the three of them exploring my house.

What I really meant was: “When can you guys scram?”

“No idea~” Rei Yi that was still staying under my blanket answered nonchalantly, her blissful expression and her dazzling canine tooth acts as a protective veil, blocking my sharp glare.

“…Forget it, you guys can stay here! I’m going out.” Irritated to the max, I covered my headache and simply left the room.

This is so uncomfortable…

I can’t stand crowded places.

But in the end, I only hate… the so called feeling of [Narrow].

“This can’t do…” I shook my head, dispersing my bad memories. What Lei Yi said was right, what’s past is past, I’m just a potato farmer now.

I walked outside the house and came to my exclusive seat ——the potato throne.

Lying down on my 547 harem, I enjoyed the feeling happiness of unbridled debauchery and licentiousness while I watched over the slowly growing potato saplings. This is truly paradise.

“I wonder which is more cuter, the mature potatoes… or the potatoes that are still growing? The daydreaming me was thinking about such a complex and advanced philosophical question.

Ah, not good… I almost made a lolicon declaration, I will get beheaded if discovered.

But… But there should not be any problem as a lolicon right? No problem right?

Afterall… Afterall, potatoes do not have the concept of age! As such, there is no legal issue of [Illegal before 18]!

So as to say, lolicon is legal!


Surrendering myself to the basic instinct, I reached out my evil hand over to the young and naive potato sapling.

Wait a minute!

Right at this moment, I was stopped by a tiny bit of rationality left in me, my left hand grabbed onto my trembling right arm.

As a hypothesis, we say that potatoes do not have the concept of age… how then do we define [Loli potato]?

Will that be when they are still at the seed stage? Or just when they came to bud? Or will that be right at the moment when they are going to bloom into flower? Or is it… when the stem is mature?


I ruthlessly slapped myself.

Pathetic! This is pathetic!

I felt ashamed of myself.

After so many years, I didn’t even come to think about things like these until now, this is a big disgrace. Shit… I don’t have the rights to call myself a potato master anymore! My knowledge is too shallow, how could I deem myself as one of the masters if I didn’t do enough research!

Caught into the unlimited regret, I knelt in front of my 547 wives and made my apology to them loudly. “I’m really sorry! This is too pathetic of me!”

“Ya… You are indeed pretty pathetic…” Di Yana appeared before my side while I was kowtowing. Lifting my head, I saw the face of hers with an expression as if she was looking at some trash.

But what was unfortunate is, I saw her panties.

But unfortunately, it was white, same as before.


Then, I erased this unhappy incident from my memories.

“Woah~ Xiao ge… Didn’t know you have such a good assessment of yourself…”

“Jie Jie”

The two of them gave me the final blow, with the same expression as Di Yana.

In short, in the eyes of an outsider, the situation is like this:

A vulgar faced man sat up from his pile of potatoes→ with a trembling body, he walked a few steps forward→ he grabbed ahold of his right arm → slapped himself on the face once→ knelt and kowtow on the ground to the potatoes.  

Just from thinking about it, I can feel the shame.

Enough… My life has no meaning now.

Might as well… plant myself to the earth and become the nutrients for the potatoes, accompany them in their growth.

The dishearten me did not reply to the three of them and walked to the potato field sorrowfully.

One step at a time, towards the holy sanctuary where the god rests, the place where absolutely no one can sully. If there dares to be a person that step foot on this land, even if it’s the Demon King, I will kill the person for you to see.

“Hello~Lei Yi~ Is that you?” Abruply, a few figures can be seen at the end of the potato farm from afar, walking straight towards the direction of my house.

Looking closely, it was a armored man that was in all black, a golden hair gunslinger wearing a cowboy hat and a petite magician with purple hair.

Who are they…

“Oh oh~ Idiot leader has finally come~” Lei Yi that was behind me waved her hand and scolded the leader like it’s a matter of course.

“You… You are the one that is retarded! Your whole race are retarded!” The armored man rebutted resentfully.

Really, did I just get shot at when I did nothing? Do you have a problem with the [White Magic Race]?

From the looks of it, these people are the members of Lei Yi’s squad? Adventurers?

Hm… Indeed, I don’t hate adventurers. Afterall, without them, the world will be anguish in the constant threats of the Demon beasts.

However, the [Retarded Leader] carelessly walked to our direction, his foot has stepped on to my potato farm… No, the eden garden of the Gods…

Okay, let me correct myself.

All adventurers… should just die.

I’m going to kill this guy…

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