Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 11

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Chapter 11

“Is it done yet…” I sat on the throne made up of my potatoes pile, and stared at the petite magician repairing Lambert’s helmet while feeling impatient and annoyed inside my heart. Unfortunately, there was no real progress even though she had already deployed a number of complex magic arrays.  

“Kii!” Being stared at with my somewhat ferocious gaze, she trembled for a moment like she was a small animal, and the magic array in her hands turned into transparent particles instantaneously, and dissipated into the air.  

Although I could clearly see her putting in the effort, the helmet had shown absolutely no sign of being repaired.

“What have you done just now…” In a flash, Di Yana had once again displayed her capability exceeding that of a S rank assassin. Appearing behind me, she grabbed my head and tugged as if pulling up a radish.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! My head is breaking! It’s breaking soon! Even if my head has broken, you will not become a magical girl, so stop it right nowahh!” I shielded my head with both of my hands, and attempted to resist Di Yana’s cruel slaughter. However, in the end, she lifted my whole body up forcefully.

Why are you treating me like this? Aren’t you a brother-loving sister? Why does it bother you when I only showed some temper of mine to that magician?

It can’t be. Has your love for me and your brother disappear so quickly? Are you only interested in females now, after getting your breasts rubbed by Rei?

Nice job, Rei! From now on, I can finally lay my murderous hand on Wu De without any fear now!

However, the me that would lose my head in the next instant, was afraid that I might not have the chance anymore.

“Alright, enough. Calm down for a moment. While Kaiser is using her magic, there must be no interruption from others.” The golden hair gunslinger interrupted right in the middle of me and Di Yana.

I’ve noticed right from the beginning that the gunslinger have shown great gentleness towards everyone else except Lambert.  

However, wait a minute…

“Who is Kaiser?” I furrowed my eyebrows and asked. Although it was a question I asked, the question was more of a verification for me for not hearing incorrectly.

“Kaiser is her.” Sure enough, the gunslinger pointed to the young girl that was deploying a magic array again while on the ground.

My guess was right.

But what is going on, to be named with such a domineering name… Is it really okay for the parents of this young girl with an existence similar to a small squirrel, to give her a name belonging in the same category of names for ancient emperors?

“Come to think of it, I’ve yet to introduce myself.” At this moment, the gunslinger then remembered this important matter, removed his cowboy hat, placed it in front his chest and slightly bowed to me. “I’m Daroff, Daroff. Clevesaf, an S rank ranger, that girl over there is a A rank wizard, her name is Kaiser. Alexander.”

“Is that so.” I replied tentatively and nodded my head.


The magical girl… is really pitiful…

However, back to the topic…

I scrutinised the golden haired gunslinger named Daroff in detailed, and a question that was embarrassing for me to ask welled inside me.

May I ask, are you a male or a female…

I heard his name by its syllables, hence I myself was not confident whether is the name of this person, Daroff or Daross. Not understanding if there’s a F, would make the gender impossible to confirm.

Ah, that previous sentence was so dirty…

Actually, If I only look at the face of this person, Daroff(ross) might be the most prettiest person among all I’ve met. On his or her face, there is always a gentle smile majority of the time while some stars would occasionally shine from his golden sparkling wavy curled hair. So, to confirm on “ITS” gender, I stealthily glance at “ITS” chest. However, the crucial areas was blocked by a white cloak similar of a western cowboy, and at the same time, the overall androgynous style of “ITS” attire made it impossible to determine the gender.

But, I’ve no idea why… looking at this person that was two heads taller than me, the image of a maize was imagined in my mind.


Not good… almost laughed out loud.

A mere maize would just be a character whose role is to be dominated by me, the god of potatoes.

In conclusion, this S rank adventurer team is a group as such: The leader is a hermit crab neet that stayed in his home, Rei is like a clingy kitten, the wizard is a squirrel with a dominating name, and the gunslinger is a maize.

I covered my mouth, and buried my face into the potato pile, strongly holding back the urge to laugh.

However, when I remembered that all of them had gathered around my house, I had lost my smiling mood instantly. But, I never would have thought that in the short period of time where I turned around my body, there was a chemical reaction occurring beside me instead.

After being stopped by Daroff(ross), Di Yana who originally grabbed my head was now staring at “ITS” face with her whole face red from blushing. Identically, the maize also noticed Di Yana, and was now staring dazedly at Di Yana’s face with a slightly opened mouth.

The two of them looked at each other for several seconds, and a sour smell of love was blowing into one’s face.

But… But, the question is, is there a F in Daroff(Daross)?!

Di Yana, are you sure of it? Have you verify that Daroff is a male maize? Or have you been completely bend by Rei, and will take all men and women alike?

Does Daroff’s gender not even matter to you anymore? As long as there’s love, does it not even matter to you even if it’s a maize of unidentified gender?

Sniff… the you that like vegetables made me feel disgusted.

What is this feeling of faint excitement but also an inexplicable sense of loss and defeat inside my heart…

Di Yana, you bitch! Is this how you betrayed Wu De, Rei and my feelings?

But, to be honest, I would still be very grateful if you guys can keep a far distance away from me.


I sighed. Faced with two persons that had already intersected their ten fingers together, even I would have no idea on how to react.

Watching Wu De, I discovered that he was the same as me, both in a state of extreme confusion, his lips trembled and muttered the same sound but of two different words: “Jie… Jie Jie?! Jie Jie Jie… Jie?” (TL’s Note: Sister and his laughter sounds the same)

How rare, who would have thought between the two of us, we would one day feel the same.

“Wait… Wait a moment!” What are you doing Daroff(ross)!” At this point in time, Rei rushed in between the two of them with tears, looking like a flame wizard whose motto is “To separate all couples no matter how little, to burn all couples the more the merrier”.

“Di Yana’s breasts belongs only to me!” Although the flame wizard sprouted out the dialogue belonging that of a perverted uncle, at least she interrupted the lovingly gaze between them.

“I… I’ve done nothing…” Daroff said while turning away his head.

“That’s right, Rei. We are just…just…” Di Yana nodded her head, but she has lost the ability to form complete sentences.

Finally regained their awareness from their obliviousness, their cheeks was totally more red than a setting sun.

I feeling terrible now…

First, putting aside the topic of “whether the three of them are engaging girls love, or a strange structured triangle love”, and take ten thousands steps backwards, can you guys not display your affection in front of my house…

It’s okay to trespass my home, it’s okay to stay here and not leave, it’s okay that more and more people are gathered in here, it’s okay to step on my potato field, but you guys are now even feeding me dog food.

What kind of new punishment is this? I don’t understand, I really don’t.

Can I be spared? Is my sin so heavy?

God of Potato… Save me!

“Hey! The three of you, stop releasing flashbangs!” Lambert that was hiding in my small house also expressed his discontentment, banged the ground and complained. “You whole lot that are brighter than the sun, are you trying to kill me under such radiance? Don’t ever forget, I am those kind that cannot be shone with light!”

Lambert, what excellent speech. But, this is nonsense… You detestable hermit crab, hurry and get the hell out of my house!

Ahhhhhhh! Enough…

I uttered a long and loud cry inside my heart, and I had enough of things such as hermit crab and maize…

No. Or should I say, when did I start having the disillusion that I could communicate with organisms that are not potatoes?

Therefore, I returned once again on my potato throne with a tangled heart from a while ago, and with anger, erected a huge and invisible estrangement between them and myself.

Patiently waiting, for the moment when they leave.  

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