Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

One day… It has been one whole day.

One entire day since I’ve gotten any tranquility.

Although Di Yana left my house a while ago bringing Wu De with her as she needed to return home to prepare dinner for her entire family, there were still four people loitering around the vicinity of my house.

Lying down sideways on top of my potato pile, my mood was filled with complete boredom as I helplessly stared at the evening sun gradually fading away, while waiting for the “bunch of zoo animals” to leave my territory.

Kaiser… the wizard girl that wore a wizard hat measuring half her height, was still doing her best effort in repairing the helmet. In spite of the heat from the scorching sun drenching her purple knee-length hair, and in spite of the howling gale that cast up dirt in the afternoon whipping at her immature face, she continued to repair the helmet willingly without any hesitation.

“How about we give up… Kaiser…” Daroff frowned and asked worryingly.  

“Agreed. It is time for Lambert to fix that character of him being a neet anyway.” Rei sluggishly said while she lay prone on top of a large boulder as if she was airing herself.

It’s not that I like to judge, Rei. But it’s about time to fix that character of you being a perverted uncle too.

“Argh…” Even the hermit crab that was hiding in the shadow showed a bitter expression on his face. It seemed that Lambert might be feeling a little sorry inside.  

“It’s nothing… I will try again.” Kaiser wiped the bean-sized sweat beads on her forehead and squeezed out a smile that has high healing capability. (TL’s Note: So cute that her smile can cure any injuries.)

As expected of a squirrel young girl.  

I feel a slight sense of guilt too…

‘Tch…” I clicked my tongue, stood up from the potato pile, casually picked up four wives of mine, and carried them in my arms towards the back of the larger house.

“Bro Fo La, where are you going?” Rei asked, pouting her mouth after noticing my actions, her belly making a “kyururu” sound at the same time.

I really got the timing right.

“Regardless… the one who broke the helmet was me, hence, dinner’s on me. But don’t expect too much, I can only guarantee that you guys won’t be feeling hungry.” I said without turning back my head, this was, in fact, my way of reducing interactions with them to the greatest extent.

“But… what are you doing, only taking four potatoes with you when there are five people here?” The sharped eyed hermit crab captured the number of potatoes in my hand immediately.

This person…is seriously pushing his luck.  

“Go ahead and eat dirt, hermit crab.” Full of malice, I responded to Lambert with insults, ignoring his hurt expression.

Go and stand somewhere near them… I cannot take this anymore.

When I woke up this morning, I thought that it would be yet another ordinary and normal day, and had thoughts of lying down on the potato pile, enjoying my quiet life.

Up until Di Yana punched me on the head.

Although my life might seem to be very lonely in the eyes of ordinary people, I, myself had absolutely never felt any feelings of dissatisfaction or inconvenience.  

Just as they don’t agree with my potato values, I also don’t agree with their values about living in a community. After all, is there any essential difference between living with people and living with potatoes?

It’s only speaking fewer words, isn’t it?

In that case, why should we rigidly adhere to the concept of species and physical forms? Who exactly set the rule that humans must be with fellow humans to grow old until their hair turned white? Just how massive is this person’s ego and how supercilious he is to consider everybody and everything beneath him that he established this so-called “ethics”?

Why can’t potatoes replace human beings? For the past six years, I’ve been living with potatoes, sticking together and constantly helping each other in time of difficulties when no human would help me when I needed them the most.

My life was saved by potatoes. Human merely came at the last minute to snatch away the credit, stealing away the spotlight, nothing more.

I’m not grumbling about the human who saved me from that place. I’m very grateful to him of course. However… nevertheless, I have to say this out selfishly and meanly. You have arrived too late…  

I slowly walked towards the stove’s side at the back of the house, collected a few buckets of water from the well, ignited the firewood, and dumped the potatoes into the pot.

Dolly, Eva, Anna, Diana.

To my wives and goddesses…  I thanked you girls, for the joy that you girls have given me. I will never forget you girls forever.

Staring at the water slowly boiling, and listening to the sound of potatoes rolling around, I finally obtained the peace that I was looking forward to, for the time being.

There is no need… for any living things to exist in my surrounding. In this world that makes me feel so helpless, it will suffice as long as potatoes and I exist.

After I waited for ten minutes or so and enjoyed the tranquility of these ten minutes, the potatoes were almost cooked. Hence I took them out using a ladle, threw them onto the plate, sprinkled them with a thin layer of black pepper, and a scrumptious dinner was done.

There’s nothing much to expect, it will suffice as long as one’s tummy is filled.

Holding the plate, I returned to the front of the house. Then, I saw Lambert with a metal bucket on his head.

Has this hermit crab evolved during the time I went to cook? Or has he fusion summoned with the metal bucket, and transformed to a metal bucket hermit crab in defense position?  

I… don’t want to retort anymore.

“What the hell are you guys doing…” I growled. My throat refuse to even voice out sound properly.

“Oh, oh~ Welcome back, bro.” Rei welcomed me with a lazy smile and spread out her hands in my direction. I have no clue what she meant by doing this.

I have no plan to speak to her, so I threw a potato at her.

Like a lynx that spotted a prey, she pounced on the tumbling potato in the air, caught it and began biting on it.

As expected of a zoo animal…

“For you…” I walked over to Maize Daroff of an unidentified gender and passed he/she a potato. Likewise, I gave a God’s harvest to the most hardworking, young wizard girl.   

She stared at me for a while, slightly frightened. After ascertained that I won’t bite, she used her trembling hand and took “God’s body”, ran a few meters away, and began to eat while squatting on the ground.

Are you really a squirrel? You are a squirrel, ain’t you!

“As for you… Catch.” Finally, I toss the last remaining potato to the armored hermit crab while emitting an aura that of a sorrowful hero.  

“Eh? There’s a share for me?” He seemed to be quite surprised when faced with my kindness.

“You’re such a bother… decide yourself whether to eat it or not.”

“I’ll eat! I’ll eat!”

Seriously… Be grateful for God’s blessing. Why do you have so much bullshit to talk about when there are things to eat.

“But… how about you bro?” Rei, who have finished half of her potato stared at me. There were bits of potatoes left on the side of her rosy lips. “Do you want to eat some of mine?”

Confronted with Rei who was absolutely unconcerned about an indirect kiss, I decisively rejected her proposal. “It’s enough for me to have a potato once a day. I’ve eaten in the morning, and I’m not hungry now.”

“Is that so…” Rei said disappointedly, with a trace of sympathy in her eyes, but it’s more of concern that can’t be put into words.

“Have you guys fixed it?” I crossed my arms and looked at the four of them eating potatoes, insinuating them that it’s about the time that they should leave.

“Erm, there should be no hope in restoring the armor, likewise for the knife. We can only bring them back to Lambert’s hometown and find a specialist to repair them.” Rei answered me, licking the residual salt on her hands.

“Can’t restoration magic repair them?” I asked, feeling slightly disappointed in the result of squirrel’s efforts.

“It won’t do. After all, those two items are enchanted with magic. After broken apart, the difficulty of gathering back the initial magic that got dissipated into the air is the hardest issue.” Rei shook her head but began to explain more in detail after she saw my puzzled face.

“The so-called enchanted items are things that were spread over here from across the southern ocean from a continent called Arundell. It’s a technique of coating a layer of magic onto objects. In Arundell Continent, it seems to be called cursed items.”

Arundell Continent…? I’ve heard stories about that large continent from fairytales when I was little. However, it seems to be a place where several wars often broke out.

“The knife was coated with lightning elemental magic, whereas the helmet was an object that could act as a beacon.” Rei sighed. “The most troublesome thing is the helmet can’t be used… Without a beacon, Kaiser has no way of using teleportation magic now…”

Ah… Did I do something disastrous?

“Anyway… I can wear this helmet made from a metal bucket by Kaiser now. Although it’s ugly, it’s more than sufficient to block the sunlight.” Lambert also gave out a sigh, but no sign of displeasure could be heard in his tone. “But without a beacon, we can only journey back by walking…”

“However, you do not need to worry bro, Lambert’s Dad is that rich hero – Stevecia~ Hey!” The joking Rei stuffed the last piece of potato into her mouth and jumped onto my shoulder with ambiguous intention. She used her soft thighs to clamped my cheeks, and stacked her chin on my head, forming a snow white totem with our heads together.

So hot! And it’s so heavy! Hurry and get down!

“Well, it’s getting late. Let’s search for a hotel.” At this point, maize… No, my benefactor, Daroff who was good in observing people’s expression and gauging people’s mind said.

“Go straight down this road and turn right at the fourth intersection. You’ll see the hotel in about five minutes.” I said with great pleasure, giving them directions fervently.

“Got it. Let’s us go then.” Daroff stretched out his hand to the crouching squirrel – Kaiser pulled her off the ground and called for his other teammates afterward.

Look… This is what a leader should be. Watch and learn, hermit crab Lambert.

However, the kitten on top of my head has no plan of leaving even after the three of them had already walked a few meters away.

“Hey… What are you doing… I murmured, suppressing my fury.

But unexpectedly, Rei who was always indolent uttered a sentence that stunned me instead.  

“Bro… What exactly do you regard yourself as…”

The sentence carried a deep sadness, and although I couldn’t see her face, the soft voice of hers traveled to my ears, managed to stir my heart intensively.

“What do you mean?” I asked back, not knowing what she meant.

She fell into silence for a moment.

As if mentally prepared, she finally spoke.

“Bro, you… what do you regard yourself as, a human or a White Luminous Lantern?”

The straightforward question struck a direct blow to my heart and emptied my brain into a blank state.

“Sorry~ Take it that I say nothing~”

Rei leaped to her feet suddenly, landed in front of me, hunched over with a bright face, and smiled, a few centimeters in front of me.

“After all bro, you are quite strong~ In that case, let’s meet again in tomorrow adventurer examination~” As if trying to get away from me, Rei wore her black hoodie, and left in a hurry, chasing the backs of her teammates.

I stood in place for a few seconds.

Until all sights of them disappear from my field of vision. Only then did I turned around and walked towards my house.

What’s this talk about me being strong… Ha.

Opening the door of the self-constructed one-storey house with two rooms and one living room, I came to the front of the room which was sandwiched between the living room and the bedroom.

Every time…

Every single time… I would always come here, whenever I would feel that there were five flavors mixed in my heart.

In order to reset myself.

A so-called “Reset Button”.

Opening the wooden door of that room, under the creaking and unpleasant sound, I stepped inside the room without windows.

Inside the room, are a dining table and two chairs. The table was full of raw potatoes and unlit candles. Near the wall, there was a small grid of 1X1X1 square.

Everything is to imitate, restore, and recall… that place.

For the sake of gaining the ultimate tranquility, I slowly approached the square, crouched down, and crammed myself inside.

This narrowness.

Although I detest it, I can’t forget it.

Like a lantern within the darkness.

Forever hung on my head.

The so-called “White Luminous Lantern”… That’s the kind of thing it is, Rei.

Therefore, with things as such, you are still asking me that question…

Isn’t it quite obvious… what the answer is?


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