Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 25

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Chapter 25

To be reasonable, I have had enough, I’m really sick and tired of this examination…

In the sights of 73 pairs of envious eyes, I walked leisurely away from the measurement device that was fuming with smoke, and listened to the explosion behind me with a face of tranquility.

A suave man that loves potatoes will never turn his head back to look at explosions.

However, no matter how much I try to pretend to be cool, it doesn’t change the fact that I broke the machine.

Nonono… The fault does not lies with me! The fault lies with this world!

If this world does not have such a thing call [mana], then I wouldn’t have the ability to [consume mana] right? If I do not have the ability to [consume mana], then I wouldn’t have absorbed Kaiser’s mana a while ago right? If I did not absorb her mana, then the measurement device wouldn’t have discharged smoke and explode due to overload.

Right, although this is unfortunate, but please rest in peace measurement device-san that is on the way to heaven now. Your last will… erm… that… right, I will complete that wish for you! Your last will of seeing the world get conquered by potatoes.

I can see it, in the foreseeable future, potatoes will conquer the universe. All the people who are disrespectful to potatoes will be beheaded.

“Wow…!” The villagers around me got into an uproar, I who have destroyed the measurement device had become the topic of conversation in their murmurings.

Although I don’t like to be stared at by people, and wished that they would ignore me so that I can be alone, but if I think about this again, perhaps this is the first step for me towards the establishment of the [Kingdom of Potatoes].

There’s an old saying that goes: He who gains the heart of the populace, will have the world. Although I’m feeling uncomfortable, but I’ll tolerate their stares for a little longer.

“It turns out that this guy… is so incredible!”

I heard it, the praises from future followers! That’s right, that’s the way! Surrender yourself and kneel before the feet of I, Famu.Potato, the first missionary of the Potato Goddess.

“Seriously, can’t belittle him!”

“That level of mana is already at the [ACE] rank!”

Hehe! Continue to praise me! Although it is not my original intention to be praised, but all the praises I received from you guys will become your faith towards the Potato Goddess.

That’s right, perhaps If I say something like: The reason I’m so powerful is because of the strength that the Potato Goddess had blessed me with, come and worship her now!”, I might get a group of followers!  

It’s better to get moving rather than get moved.

Immediately, I opened my mouth: “I…”

However, the discussions centered around me changed all of a sudden, and became something very strange.

“Hehe… How worthy of you, my eternal nemesis… I’ve known about your identity all this time… that you are a servant serving under [THE.GRAND.DRAK]! However… I’m from [THE.LIGHT.SABER] YO!”

Who was it? Who was it that mumbled such a chuunibyou dialogue? This is so terrifying, could Lambert’s chuunibyou disease infect others all along? This is seriously even scarier than the black plague!

Furthermore, what are you talking about? Vilifying my holy religion of potato as a evil cult?  If I must say, my Potato Goddess is an existence that belongs to the side of [Justice].

“Isn’t that the monkey that has been living in the cave… How could he have so much mana? As expected, is it because he ate too much potatoes?”

You guys are at it again? These whispers of theirs are hurting more and more! Stop it now!

Wait a minute? A monkey living in a cave?! Me?! Although my house is a bit on the small side, but it’s definitely not a cave, also where is the similarity between a monkey and me?! It’s true that I’m a little short, but it’s not necessarily a link to monkey, is it?

Besides, what has the potatoes done to to provoke you?!

“I seemed to have trimmed my fingernails a bit too much yesterday night…”

I understand now, from the beginning, I’m not even comparable to your nails right? Heheh… how sad.

… I feel terrible right now.

Although I prefer to be ignored by you guys, but in a situation like this, the way that I was ignored has literally dealt over ten thousands true damage to me.


All of a sudden, my animal instincts warned me as I felt an approaching danger from behind. I turned back instantly, and saw Wu De and Di Yana grudging eyes.  

How scary! Those grudging eyes that are devoid of any life is literally like the evil spirit with grievance crawling out from a deep well. I’m afraid that I won’t live past this week… no, perhaps I won’t live past tonight!

“Jie Jie (Sister)… Jie…”

“Wu De? You hate that guy, don’t you?… What a coincidence, your sister feels the same. Don’t worry… I’m going to turn him into mashed potatoes now…” With a smile similar to an ancient evil god, Di Yana left the gloomy region and approached me slowly.

Argh… Damn it! Looks like I won’t even live past a minute!

But, it was at this moment, a holy saint appeared!

“Di Yana, calm down.” The saint had wavy blonde curls, and carried a gentle smile on his handsome face. Although he was dressed in a western cowboy attire, but at this moment in time, he resembled a holy bishop.

Oh, Oh! Is this the reinforcements from Potato Goddess?! My salvation has finally arrived!

With a myriad of gratitude, I looked quietly at Dairo walking towards me.

But it seems a little strange…


With a gentle smile, “IT” pulled out a flintlock from the waist, pressed the barrel of the gun against my chin, and readied the firing hammer responsible for firing the bullet.

“You broke my stuff… hurry up and compensate me… trash… “

Eh?! Wha… What’s happened!? Aren’t you a gentle person? Although I accidentally spoiled your stuff, but you do not need to immediately start threatening me, and force me to pay for it!

This change of character is too fast, isn’t it? Are you always such a person from the start, Dairo? Is this what they called a split personality?!

Sorry… The things that I said previously such as it being the world’s fault are all just bullshit from me! It was indeed my fault, it was indeed my carelessness that broke the machine, but I really did not mean to do it! If i must say, it was the machine that could not withstand Kaiser’s mana!

Spare me! I’m innocent!


“Are you going to pay or what? I heard that the price of organs has increased recently eh?”

Seeing that I was unresponsive, Dairo pulled out another flintlock and aimed at my eyeballs. Threatening me with the mode of [double threats on both of his hands], he was like a yakuza collecting payment for high-interest loans.

My body was also forced to be in a strange position. My knees was kneeling on the ground and bent into a reverse “C” shape as the gun barrels of the two flintlock was pressed against me.

Wuah… This person… is seriously so scary! Don’t make him angry! You mustn’t go against him!

The adventurer is robbing people! The adventurer is robbing the villagers of their money! You can go through the boxes in my house, but I really have nothing other than potatoes!

Ah… Wait…

I seem to have plundered a sum of money from Lambert recently… Damn it! It was originally intended to be use to purchase potato seeds. I’ll give it to you for now!

[Dairo (Level 99) got 233 copper coins!]

[Villager (Level 1) lost all his copper coins! Villager has fainted!]

[Bah! Trash!]

Lord prompt message… It’s been a long time since we met, but is it wise for you to kick a person when he is down?

[Shut up and die, trash!]

Wah, even the prompt message is looking down on me with such vile tongue!

I’ve had enough… trash like me that was looked down by a prompt message… should dig himself into the ground and become nutrient for the world.

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3 thoughts on “Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 25

  1. …. thank you translator for your hard work…..

    But honestly… I feel like I just want to rant at the author….

    1. No fucking shit. I mean, misfortune is a slapstick comedy’s bread and water, but this is too much. I mean, the tragic backstory is OK, and the fact that unfortunate things happen to him regardless would be OK if they were not as mean-spirited as this. Seriously, between that whore Di Yana, the autist Wu De, the rest of the village and NOW the trap, Famu is way too miserable. This is too much, especially for slapstick. It’s not funny if it’s too sad.

      1. I wouldn’t go as far as to say she’s a whore. She’s obviously just a victim of the author’s inability to understand the tsundere trope.

        It’s like he’s expecting audiences to let things go because it’s slapstick, but not giving anything to balance it. Sakura from Naruto had tsun moments, but she also showed she cared for Naruto multiple times. Or Kirino from OreImo, she would use slapstick but she also showed she cared and felt regret when she did actually cross a line.

        I mean, if she was instead harsh on him cause her brother pretended to be the victim, that’d be one thing. And later, when she found out his tragic backstory, she didn’t show enough sympathy or care.

        That’s just bad writing.

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