Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 21

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Chapter 21

Ah… I’m in trouble…

With a face of despair I watched as the queue got shorter and shorter, and the small mountain made up of paralyzed people got stacked higher and higher. I know exactly, the time to my execution is near.

Shit… I was clearly still gloating over Wu De receiving [electrotherapy] just a while ago, but now that my turn is coming up, I just remembered the domineering fear of that electricity.

I laughed too early…

I’m still young, I can’t die in a place like this. I have a wife, my children are at the fields as well. I can’t abandon them, I need to fulfill my duties of a husband and father!

I’ve got no choice. I need to escape.

Even though I feel sorry towards the people that had sacrificed themselves in vain, but you guys have to understand me.

How can the existence of you guys be more important than potatoes after all.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not targeting anyone of you among the others.

My point is, everyone here who are not potatoes are all trash. Especially, Lambert.  

Hence, I’ve made my decision. Planning to beat a retreat, I stepped back carefully in an attempt to blend with the surrounding. But right at this moment, a sweet voice sounded near my ear.

“Xiao ge~ what are you doing~”

“……!!”

Rei… Rei? You are still sitting on my shoulders?

This isn’t good. I can’t believe I’ve grown accustomed to Rei’s weight, I almost treat her as an extension of my body. It was obvious that there are two slender and soft brown thighs right in front of me, but similar to how my nose are ignored, my eyes chose to ignored the existence of the thighs.

Such a pity. If these two thighs were potatoes, I might have licked them for a while.

Or rather, please turn into potatoes and let me licked them!

Just the thought of it makes me feel high… heheheh…

Anyway, is it possible that you had already guessed that I will escape, and so you climbed onto me in advance? Damn … this girl has such cunning calculations!

“Erm… I wanted to stretch my body a little, that’s all.” In an attempt to conceal my actions from before, I lied. After all, if Rei approached Di Yana and snitched on me, I’m afraid that my life will be forfeited.

The deterrence brought forth by the [Harbinger of Death. The Iron Fist of The World Destroyer Dragon. The Ambassador of Hell] is not a laughing matter.

“Fine then~ If you are tired of waiting, you can request the retarded leader to allow you to take the examination in advance you know~” Rei said as she hummed a tune. She seems to be in a good mood, as she sat on a sepcial and exclusive seating.

If I’m tired from the waiting… isn’t the reason for me being tired is because you are sitting on my shoulders? Get down from there quickly. Although you are not that heavy, it is still very annoying! Are you a clingy kitten?

“Next, number 73.”

During the time I spent grumbing in my head, Lambert called upon the number of the villager before me. As I lost my last cover, my existence was exposed in the sights of the maniac killer.

But it’s fine, I still have a bit of time, I still have time to mentally prepare myself. There’s more than sufficient time for me to even reminisce my entire life journey at least once~

Bzzt!

With a flash of electricity again, the person before me collapsed at the sound of the electricity.

“It’s zero again, next.”

Between being called and collapsing, not even a second has passed.

Hey! Aren’t you guys too weak! Can’t you guys even buy some time? I was just at the beginning of recalling the night before when I graced my potato with a night visit, and you guys had collapsed so easily already?

In this village, among the 73 participants that was before me, 67 of them have a magic resistance of zero, and the 6 that remain were merely rated as C rank.

This is the magic federation ain’t it~ You are all citizens of the magic federation ain’t it~

“Like I said, next. Folande, it’s your turn.” Hermit crab reminded me as he hit his pen used for recording purposes against his gauntlet.

Who exactly is Folande… right, be on your way to search for Folande to take the examination, then.

Although I wanted to retort, but ultimately I just let out a deep sigh, and resigned myself to the cruel reality. It is better to just get it over with, rather than prolong the agony. Come at me, you beast! Do not pity me just because I am an apostle of the Potato God, end my suffering quick.

I went up to the super adorable squirrel girl, and stretched out my hand towards her. Upon seeing this, Rei hopped down from my shoulders, giving me a sense of relief and my freedom back.

“In that case… I’m coming, okay!” The young girl that was shorter than me by 2 feet, glanced up at me from below with her pure innocent eyes similar to the eyes of small animals. From her small ruddy lips, came a voice that was sweeter than honey. Her pair of fair white tiny hands that were too little to envelop my palm, transmitted warmness that would make one excited as well.

The fusing of fear and curiosity had made me lost myself completely in her world.

Damn it! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! I’m not a lolicon! Hurry and give me treatment! Shock me! Quickly, give me [electrotheraphy]! Zap me now or it will be far too late! My love for goddess of potatoes is exclusive! I cannot accept the cuteness of a non-potato life like you! Potato is the cutest in the world! You…you…yououou are nothing! Hurry up and make me sober again!

I closed my eyes with a face full of despair, however, I did not experience any sort of electricity that was supposed to shock me.

Shit… Kaiser! You tricked me! Was conquering me your intention all along?

“Ooh~ Just as expected?” As though he had grasped the current situation, a sinister laughter resounded from Lambert’s metal bucket. He then ordered his [claw]: “Kaiser, use that move.”

“Eh?! But… isn’t that very dangerous?” Kaiser got a shock, she seemed to be  getting cuter by the minute.

Kaiser is so adorable, the world cutest…second cutest!!

“It’s alright, I will take full responsibility if there’s any accident.” Lambert gave a thumbs up to reassure Kaiser.

Wait a second? What are the two of you planning to do to me? Why are you both speaking in a secret code? Are you guys planning to assassinate me? Are you guys plotting to do something detrimental to the most devoted apostle of the Potato God?

Assassin! Someone come and save me!

Immediately, I saw violent winds appeared and revolved around Kaiser’s surrounding. I could clearly feel a colossal amount of mana surging around her.

Near her wizard hat and purple hair that were dancing in the wind, some strokes of sparks could be seen speeding past with a naked eye.

Kaiser, what are you doing? What kind of ultimate are you releasing? Grabbing my right hand, are you are planning to turn me to a rail gun and shoot me away?

However very soon, she returned back to her original state. The gathered mana dissipated instantly in the air as well.

“Heh~ As expected of a pure blood from the White magic clan, [consume mana] had certainly lived up to its name.” Lambert laughed and continue his explanation, but I have no idea who he was explaining to. “To absorb all mana touched directly, and even able to absorb [earth-shattering thunderous strike] a magic that is on par with [Demonic flame dragon tornado].”

All that was just the two of you playing with me? I got treated like a vacuum cleaner?

Wait… What is a vacuum cleaner? Why would I say such a a word?

Thus, in a baffling turn of events, I got a [S rank] rating, and became one of the two people in this village that had obtained the best result at this current stage of the examination.

I… had done nothing at all though…

Aren’t the villagers in this village all trash?

Incidentally, due to the fact that I had missed the best timing to seek treatment, I have successfully contracted the incurable illness named [Lolicon].


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