Potatoes are the only thing that’s needed in this world! Chapter 14

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Chapter 14

“Oh… Bro, what happened to you?” Rei rubbed her sleepy eyes and asked us as she yawned. The potato on her chest fell out from her clothes.

“All thanks to you… I almost died.”

I was nabbed by Di Yana, given a heavy beating, and was then dragged back home. Currently, there’s abounding lifelessness shown in my eyes, and the stabbing pain from my knee was slowly eating into me.

“Rei, are you alright?” Without any hesitation, Di Yana sat on my bed. Compared to my pain, she was more worried about Rei who was lying on my bed. While showing her concern towards Rei, she looked at me with disdain in her eyes.

Seriously… Didn’t I just explain to you what happened awhile ago? If you don’t believe in what I said, then don’t ask me what had happened…

Fine, I don’t want to talk to you two anyway, both of you can just misunderstand me however you like. It’s would be the best if I’m misunderstood to the extent whereby both of you will escape immediately the moment both of you spot me. That way, I can finally achieve tranquility forever.

Plan: Forever Alone… Hehe!

“Ah… with regard to what happened~” Unlike Di Yana, Rei was a sensitive person, and she seemed to have saw through my plan at the first glance. So, with a small rosy face, as if she was flirting with me, she shyly said. “Last night, Bro… was really good!”

Bam!

The instance the words had just reached Di Yana, her figure turned into a blur, and she struck me in the lower abdomen with her supersonic fist. Di Yana’s punch was like a missile launching pad, she launched me into the roof, and it took several seconds for me to fall back down.

During the period that I was spasming on the ground, Rei continued. “I’m so sleepy… After all, for the entire night, Bro didn’t allow me to have a good sleep. Thinking back now, I’m afraid that I’m unable to leave Bro Forla’s side anymore…”

Upon hearing this, Di Yana unleashed yet another stroke of Crashing Heaven Kick. A force exceeding the weight of a dragon was converged in one leg, and it stomp me squarely on my head, with several fissures even appearing on the ground due to the force.

Di Yana, do you even have a brain? How could you believe such an obvious lie so readily? Furthermore, didn’t you tell me just moments ago that Rei only came to my house an hour ago?

If that’s the case, isn’t it super obvious that it was a lie when she said about things that happened last night? How could you not think about it for a moment?

However, Di Yana used her body to teach me a very cruel life lesson.

<<It’s useless to argue in the face of violence.>>

“Go to hell… Formu…” Di Yana continued to step on my head, giving me absolutely no chance to explain myself, and made me maintained the posture of kissing the earth.

You bastards! It’s fine to call the wrong name. It’s fine to call me Formu, Forla or Forlando, but at the very least, can you guys unify the name? I have to pause for a while every single time, to finally realise that you guys was referring to me. Furthermore, did none of you notice that every one of you addressed me with different names?

Not only that, is “Farmu” really so difficult to remember? If it’s not agreeable to call me Farmu, I’m fine with being called Potato. Or we can even take it one step forward, you can also call me missionary of potato.  

“Yah… Bro Forla~ I’m going to stick myself to you for the rest of my life now. Will you let me give birth to little kittens for you? Meow Meow~” Despite clearly seeing that I was suffering in pain, nevertheless, Rei still acted out the gesture of a little kitten, and acted cute maliciously.

Is your mind full with sadism? Have mercy on me!

Also, did you just say some very dangerous words? Stick to me for the rest of your life? In other words, does that mean I will never obtain tranquility for the rest of my life?

Is that a threat? I can take that as a threat right? What are you trying to gain from me, terrorist?! Even my loneliness is getting taken away from me… Do you even have any humanity left?

What’s more, let me give birth to little kittens for you? Come on, I can tolerate it if it’s giving birth to potatoes, however, things like giving birth to little kittens, forget it!

Just for the record, you’re not serious right… Hey…

“Well~ I’ll stop playing now. I’d indeed overslept accidentally.” Rei gave a mischievous smile, jumped down from my bed, and tapped on Di Yana’s shoulder, signalling that she could let me off now. “It’s about time to go, let him off this time.”

“Agreed, we can’t afford to waste anymore time, the “assessment” is beginning soon.” Di Yana gave a cold snort, and with the expression of a tsundere, her foot was moved away from my head.

Unfortunately, this was the third time, the third time that I saw her panties.

Oh? It’s a black laced panties this time? Battle panties?

Between yesterday and today, within these dozen of hours, what had happened to your frame of mind?

It’s a pity, it was not the potato pattern still.

Delete, delete it away!

“What “assessment”… I don’t want to be an adventurer, don’t come and find me… Just treat me as if I had failed; I can’t be bothered to go.” I proned on the ground, and while feeling Mother Earth’s breath, I squeezed out these few sentences from my mouth lifelessly.

“That won’t do. This is the duty of us, the citizens, if you do not do your part, you’ll be arrested, then beheaded!” Di Yana said gravely, at this moment, she finally had a bit of the appearance of an elder daughter of the village chief.

Interesting! This Magic Federation is quite interesting!

Villagers who do not want to be adventurers, are all of them considered as citizens that are not good? What kind of logic is this? This is an atrocity, why hasn’t anyone questioned this matter yet?

Ah, I see it now…

I can already see the mug of this country’s king when he established this law: He was probably in a situation of eating at woodsticks while staring at a toilet seat with a blank look; drooling his saliva, facing upside down, and had gone ten days without sleep, surrounded by several naked strong men. Only in that state, would he set this law that was as if one’s brain was short-circuit, right?

Basically, if you say this straightly, this law roughly means this sentence: “Don’t want to be an adventurer? Then, go and die.”

This guy is literally the demon king…

Lambert, quickly call your Dad to slay this demon king!

But!

I will not bow down to the forces of evil! No one can stop my reluctance of not going outside! As of now, I am Lambert, the second generation, the reincarnation of that armored hermit crab, even if the heavenly emperor appears, I will also not…

“Let’s go.”

Di Yana saw that I had no intention of ever moving, so she grabbed hold of my ankle, and dragged me along while walking towards the outside.

“Stop resisting~ Bro, be obedient and become one of us~”

My both hands dug into the ground, then held onto the door frame. However, all my efforts came to a naught. Under the hinder of “Rei’s prying hands”,  both my weak little hands were prided away from either the ground or from the door frame, one after another.

Damn it! I refuse to accept this!

I’m like a pig, being sent to a slaughterhouse without any rights to refuse. Not only do I have no human rights, I don’t even have the rights of a pig.

Just like this, under the escorts of these young girls, I was forcibly transferred to the village square, with two lines of tear stains left along the road.  

At the square, was the gathering of all the village youths and a large number of villagers that were here to be join in the fun; they were all excited about the assessment this time, those older in age had also began reminiscing the happy memories of their past.

And I, like a ploughing machinery, was driven to the middle of the square, robbed away the crowd’s line of sight.

This is making me so awkward ahh… I, that had already been regarded as a freak by the villagers since long ago, is more conspicuous now. Furthermore, this extremely embarrassing pose is lowering my reputation by a lot once again!

“Mama~ What is that?” A little girl asked.

“Psh! Don’t look, that’s a demon that needs to be purge! If his eyes meet with yours, you will be turned into potato chips!”

“Eyah!” The little girl cried, and hid in the back of the mother.

“Let us go home!”

“Hmm!”

Why did I get mocked by others when I just came here, not even for a few seconds? Is this my passive skill?

“I want to go home… I haven’t watered my potato field for today…” However, looking at the two sinister looking girls around me, I swallowed back these words to my stomach.

Oh… well…

I’ll stay a little longer with you guys…


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