Chapter 12 — Don’t Hate Me
After the dinner had went on for sometime, the two families finally passed the awkward period and slowly became more familiar, the topic also changed from the ‘national livelihood’ to the two children’s marriage’s life.
“In the future ah, you guys have to forgive our family’s Xiaoya. This girl ah, she had been spoiled rotten by me from when she’s still small.” The parents from both side had also changed from boasting about their children to revealing their inadequacies.
“In-law, what are you talking about? Xiaoya will be my daughter-in-law in the future, of course I have to spoil her too.” The names in which they called each other had also evolved from Teacher Shen or Madam Bai to ‘in-law’.
Although the topic had turned to herself, but Mu Xiaoya still didn’t interrupt and continued eating her food silently.
“Ah, that’s right, there’s still something that we want to ask Xiaoya.”
“En?” Hearing her name called, Mu Xiaoya looked up in a hurry.
“This girl only knows how to eat. The adults are talking to you ah.” Shen Qingyi gave her a scornful look.
Mu Xiaoya embarrassedly put down her chopsticks and smirked at her parents, “Auntie, please talk if there’s anything, I’m listening.”
“Still calling ‘auntie’ ah?” Li Rong looked at Xiaoya while dropping a hint towards her.
“Cough… mother.” Mu Xiaoya changed her form of address with a red face.
Li Rong suddenly felt happy, smiling until her eyes became a slit and then said, “It’s like this, I know you young couple like living by yourselves, so I have discussed with your dad; if you and Xiao Chuan want to live by yourselves, then we can help to prepare the house in advance.”
“??” Mu Xiaoya was taken aback. She never expected that Bai Chuan’s family would offer her and Bai Chuan to live without them.
Not only was she surprised, but Mu Ruozhou and his wife also felt that it was unexpected. Of course they wanted their daughter to live by themselves after marriage so they could move around easily. But with Bai Chuan’s circumstances, how could the Bai family be rest assured leaving him alone with their daughter? Thinking about it from another perspective, if it was Mu Xiaoya that had autism, they themselves won’t agree, and therefore, they never thought nor mentioned about it. It was really unexpected that the Bai family took the initiative and brought this topic.
“That’s right ah, Xiaoya, what kind of house do you like? I’ll let Bai Zheng buy it for you.” Bai Guoyu said.
“Yeah, I’ll handle it.” Bai Zheng also nodded.
“I… I…” Mu Xiaoya turned her head to look at Bai Chuan subconsciously, but she saw Bai Chuan was lowering his head, still immersed in his own world and gave no reaction towards her gaze.
“It’s okay, you can make the decision. Bai Chuan would have no problem with this.” At this point, Li Rong still understood her own son. As long as Mu Xiaoya was with him, he won’t mind where he lives. What’s more, from his abrupt moment just now, Bai Chuan suddenly started to be silent again. If Mu Xiaoya wasn’t even given the right to make this decision, how could they reassured her parents?
Mu Xiaoya also knew that Bai Chuan couldn’t give his advice, so she pondered about it and answered, “Ma, I want to live at your house for a period of time. After I become more familiar with Bai Chuan, then we’ll move out to live by ourselves, is it alright?”
“Alright, of course it’s alright.” Li Rong was so happy that she immediately agreed.
Although Li Rong had already discussed with her husband and was willing to let Bai Chuan live alone, but nevertheless, she’s still worried deep in her heart. She was afraid if Bai Chuan suddenly had a fit where she couldn’t see him. Although she believed that Mu Xiaoya would work hard to take care of Bai Chuan, but Mu Xiaoya still had no experience dealing with Bai Chuan’s illness, she’s afraid that Bai Chuan would scare away Mu Xiaoya.
But it wasn’t good for her to bring this topic with Mu Xiaoya, she’s afraid that if she said it, Mu Xiaoya would think that they don’t trust her enough. Moreover, Professor Feng also said that by giving them a free environment, it would make Bai Chuan feel more relaxed and was beneficial to his recovery. So, despite some worries, the three of them made the decision to let Mu Xiaoya and Bai Chuan live alone.
But now that Mu Xiaoya was willing to live in the Bai family for a while to adapt herself with Bai Chuan’s condition, this not only give them some transition time, but also reassured them that Mu Xiaoya was serious about Bai Chuan’s illness. How can they not agree to this when they’re this happy?
“Then with this, we’ll prepare the house first. You can move in whenever you want to.” Bai Guoyu said cheerfully.
After talking about this topic, the decision had been made, the atmosphere around the dinner table was completely relaxed. The fathers of the two families continued their idle chat about state affairs and people’s livelihood, while the mothers talked about skin care. Bai Zheng felt a bit famished at this time, so he picked up his chopsticks and lowered his head to eat.
Then, the others also started to eat. At this time, Mu Xiaoya already ate some food, she turned her head to observe Bai Chuan and found that he’s still immersed in his own world with his head down, the plate in front still held the fish slices that Mu Xiaoya just picked for him.
Do I wake him up or not? He’s still not eating anything.
Mu Xiaoya hesitated, wavering between waking him up or not interfering with his immersing in his own world. She remembered what Grandma Bai had said before. She said that Bai Chuan had scholar syndrome, so sometimes he would become silent, not caring about people around him. It was likely that he was thinking about something, you just need to wait for him until he’s finished, then he would wake up by himself.
Forget it, just let him think, I’ll just help him pack some food to eat later. Mu Xiaoya thought like this, but the chopsticks in her hand kept picking food and placed them in Bai Chuan’s plate, silently trying to awaken Bai Chuan with a plate full of dishes.
Bai Chuan knew that Mu Xiaoya was helping him picking the dishes. He wasn’t immersed in his own world, nor was he thinking about some problem. His hands were clenching into tight fists, hiding under the tablecloth, struggling to endure the noise that only he could hear.
In the last twenty minutes, Bai Chuan heard an ear-piercing scratching sound, which was the sound of a lamp on the ceiling behind him. The harsh sound was caused by aging wires and poor circuits and the sound was really grating on his ear, he was on tenterhooks and his head felt a burst of pain.
But Bai Chuan knew that it was only him alone in this room that felt uncomfortable. Bai Chuan was really familiar with this kind of scene as he already experienced it several times before, so he became irritable if he ever heard these baffling noises.
Just turn off the sound, just turn off the light and everything would be okay. If it was before, Bai Chuan would immediately stand up and cut off all the power in the room so all these annoying sounds could disappear. But now he can’t do as he likes, he’s trying to restrain the painful urge inside of him.
Before, when he suddenly stood up and made such a move, the people around him would always looked at him with strange eyes. Although he didn’t care, but today wasn’t the same, today he can’t make any mistake. His family had told him before they came here that he had to perform well at tonight’s dinner, he must not make any mistake and leave bad impressions on Xiaoya’s parents.
He can’t make any mistake, he can’t make Xiaoya’s parents look at him with strange eyes.
So he worked hard enduring himself from twenty minutes ago, he tried to ignore those sounds, but those scratching and ripping sounds became louder and even more frequent, as if an electric drill was going crazy inside his brain. He felt uncomfortable, too uncomfortable that he can’t think anymore, feeling like all of his blood was flowing backwards, so uncomfortable that he wanted to smash things apart.
No, you can’t, you can’t let the outbreak to happen.
“Screech~” it sounded again, why isn’t that lamp smashed yet?
“Screech~” so uncomfortable, when can he leave this place?
“Screech~” Xiaoya is near me, don’t get close to me, don’t see my abnormality.
Bai Chuan bit his lips desperately, lowering his face and trying to hid his expression, but he couldn’t hide the natural reaction of his body as he’s sweating bullets.
Mu Xiaoya suddenly noticed something was wrong, she noticed Bai Chuan’s shirt pressing against his skin was full of sweat. Although it was summer, but the air conditioner was turned on inside this room, and even if you eat hotpot, it’s impossible to let out this much sweat, how come Bai Chuan sweat this much?
“Xiao Chuan?” Mu Xiaoya wanted to touch Bai Chuan.
“Bang!” Bai Chuan suddenly got up and ducked away, turning around to prevent Mu Xiaoya from seeing him. However, this action exposed the sweat on his back even more, his whole person looked like he was drenched in rain.
How could others not notice this? The Bai families’ faces changed at once, looking at the appearance of Bai Chuan, they knew that he’s on the verge of collapsing.
“Xiao Chuan, what happened with you? Are you uncomfortable?” Mu Xiaoya was going to pull Bai Chuan’s hand again.
“Don’t come over!” Bai Chuan didn’t want Mu Xiaoya to see his illness breaking out, he shoved her without looking back. Mu Xiaoya was taken by surprise, staggered and bumped into the table. The teacups and plates on the table’s edge fell and shattered to pieces on the floor.
“Xiaoya!” Shen Qingyi hurried to help her daughter.
Suddenly, the painful cry of Mu Xiaoya, the shattering of porcelains, the alarmed shout of Shen Qingyi and the never vanishing scratching sounds finally crumbled Bai Chuan’s utmost restrain.
“AAAA!!” Bai Chuan beat his own head in a frenzy, screaming without a pause.
It’s so noisy, don’t quarrel anymore, disappear, all voices just disappear!
Bai Chuan grabbed everything his hands could touch, slamming them hard at the wall lamp that kept making those jarring noises, However, it was useless no matter how much he smashed it, and the more ineffective it was, the more he pound and smash…
In the midst of loud crackling sounds, in just a short while, half of the plates and bowls on the table were shattered.
“Xiao Chuan?!” Mu Xiaoya was screaming in panic as she wanted to go and stop Bai Chuan, Shen Qingyi was afraid that her daughter would be hurt so she and her husband pulled Mu Xiaoya in place.
“Bai Zheng, quickly stop Xiao Chuan!” Bai Guoyu shouted.
There’s no need for Bai Zheng to be reminded as he already rushed over when Bai Chuan first acted. He forcibly hugged the manic Bai Chuan and prevented him from grabbing more plates on the table.
At this time, the waiter rushed in and was shocked to see the shattered things on the floor.
“Hurry up, turn off the light!” Li Rong yelled with anxiousness to the waiter standing at the door.
The waiter didn’t know why, but he still obediently turned off the lights.
As soon as the wall light was turned off, Bai Chuan’s struggles finally eased immediately.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, the lights are off.” While Bai Zheng was calming his brother down, his heart hurt when he saw Bai Chuan’s hands that were cut by the sharp porcelain pieces.
“Go to the hospital.” Bai Guoyu sighed.
The wounds on Bai Chuan’s hands were just skin-deep, it will be fine after a simple bandage. But Bai Chuan’s mood was really down, he sat listlessly on the chair outside of emergency room and he won’t move no matter who called or shouted at him.
The group of people had no choice but to accompany him.
Bai Guoyu, while distressing over his son, he also felt ashamed towards Mu Xiaoya’s parents. He never expected that Bai Chuan would suddenly got sick when both of their families met for the first time. Also, he pushed Mu Xiaoya, how can her parents be rest-assured to give their daughter to them?
“In-law, I’m sorry about this.” Bai Guoyu apologized for his son.
“It’s alright, Bai Chuan didn’t mean it.” Mu Ruozhou waved his hand, but the expression on his face wasn’t as relaxed as what he was saying.
“In-law, Xiao Chuan rarely broke out with his illness, today is a special situation, it’s possible that there’s something wrong with the lamp.” Li Rong also explained, but she still felt that her explanation was too weak, how can the problem lies with the lamp? The problem is Xiao Chuan.
Bai Zheng didn’t speak, he only leaned against the corridor and stared at Bai Chuan and Mu Xiaoya from afar.
“Does your hands hurt?” Mu Xiaoya asked softly, sitting beside Bai Chuan.
Bai Chuan ignored her and lowered his head, as if he hadn’t heard what she said. But Mu Xiaoya knew that he heard it because she saw Bai Chuan’s eyelashes moved.
“You hurt me when you pushed me just now.” Mu Xiaoya said intentionally.
Bai Chuan shuddered, he looked up anxiously, his eyes full of fear and self-blame.
“But I’d feel more hurt if you don’t speak to me.” Mu Xiaoya then unhurriedly said the later half of her sentence.
“I… I… I didn’t do it on purpose.” For the first time, this was the first time that he tried to explain to someone after the numerous manic episode he had in all of his life.
“I know. Can you tell me what happened just now?” Mu Xiaoya thought that Bai Chuan wouldn’t break out without reason.
“The light… too noisy.” As if there was a feeling of unease, Bai Chuan’s brows frowned tightly, “My head hurts.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Bai Chuan shook his head.
“Then go home and rest now, alright?” Mu Xiaoya stood up and pulled Bai Chuan’s hand, wanting to send him home.
Who knew that Bai Chuan’s face suddenly turned pale white? He was reluctant to stand up from the chair as he explained eagerly, “I… I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I know ah.” Mu Xiaoya couldn’t understand why Bai Chuan suddenly got anxious again.
“Don’t go.” Bai Chuan held Mu Xiaoya’s hand tightly, begging her with his eyes.
Mu Xiaoya blanked for a while.
“Don’t go, don’t hate me, I won’t be sick in the future anymore.” Speaking and speaking again, Bai Chuan gradually lowered his head, as if he had made a very unreasonable request, even he himself didn’t dare to hope that Mu Xiaoya would agree to his plea. He only pulled Mu Xiaoya’s hand, not letting it go even for a bit.
Her heart felt a painful ache. Bai Chuan’s few sentences seemed to struck her right on her chest.
“I won’t go, I’ll return home with you.” Mu Xiaoya squatted down and coaxed him softly.
“Isn’t it okay? Wait until I get permission from my parents and I’ll live together with you.”
Live together? So I didn’t mess things up, right?
The edges on Bai Chuan’s lips raised up, revealing the usually hidden deep dimples.
I… I have so many complicated emotions… أ‿أ